How Dumb Are The DUP? How Deep Is The Ocean?

When a revolutionary group, dedicated to the use of violence to overturn the constitutional status quo, which kept its violence going for over three decades to achieve that goal, killing hundreds of people, maiming thousands more and causing countless millions in damage, then decides a) to call a ceasefire while its leaders don smart suits, grooms and styles their hair and bleaches their teeth, b) allows its weapons to be destroyed and winds down the bulk of its military strength and c) takes seats in a parliament it once swore to burn to the ground and then substitutes a cultural demand for a political one – in this case for the right to use the language of its ancestors on street signs and the like – then the reaction of its erstwhile enemy should be:

i) Throw hats in the air with joy;

ii) Invite their former enemies to a slap-up dinner;

iii) Scowl with anger and retreat into the bunkers?

Answers on a postcard to Arlene Foster, Dumbest Political Leader In Europe, Last Chance Saloon, End Of The Line Avenue, Stormont Buildings, Belfast.